Life Without Mew

Dear Mau the Mewmews,

It’s officially been 2 months since you died and about a month since I decided that I wanted to create this website. I thought this might be the best way to keep you close to my heart.

For any readers out there who may be wondering, Mau the Mewmews was a grey tabby cat and my emotional support animal (ESA) that I adopted back in 2020 during COVID. My ex-father-in-law found Mau, her 3 siblings, and their mom at a shipyard warehouse. He had been feeding them to gain their trust so he could bring them into the Humane Society to get them spayed/neutered. When he went out to feed them one day, he noticed all four kittens were around their mom who had died from unknown causes. He immediately brought them home to take them to the Humane Society since they were 7-8 weeks old and were likely still being fed milk from their mom.

Unfortunately (and fortunately), the Humane Society was closed that weekend because it was a holiday weekend. As a result, we were able to adopt Mau the Mewmews. Additionally, we found good homes for her 3 siblings as well. Mau’s sister, now named Emma Belle, found a loving home with my ex-husband’s sister. One of Mau’s brothers, now named Leroy Jenkins, is being well taken care of my good friend Brittney. Mau’s other brother, now named Lucas, was taken in by my ex-father-in-law’s coworker. Last I heard about Lucas, he was taking care of his family as much as they were taking care of him. One day, Lucas decided that he was going to help wake the kids up for school and he has made it his job to do it every day since then. His parents are happy with the help.

So now that you know who Mau the Mewmews is, you may be wondering how she died since she was only 4 years old. Unfortunately, Mau got sick and it wasn’t apparent until it was too late. Mau had maybe lost a pound, but I wasn’t too concerned because she was a little overweight (~14 pounds) to begin with. I went out of town for a week and left a trusted family member to look after her and my other two cats, Lilith the Leviathan and Carmen the Cleaner. When I got back in town, I noticed she had lost a significant amount of more weight. I took her to the vet immediately.

The vet diagnosed her with Fatty Liver Disease. They said it was common in overweight cats who had lost a lot of weight fast but reassured me that she would be fine. At that time, she was down to 10 pounds. We were given medication and high calorie foods to feed her. They did an ultrasound of her stomach, but said that they only noticed a fatty liver. The following week, she had a follow up appointment at the vet. I expressed my concerns but they reassured me again that she was getting better and did some additional tests. 2 days later, I tried to bring her back as an emergency walk-in due to her collapsing on the floor/unable to stand, not eating, and not drinking. The vet turned us away. They stated her normal doctor was out and the backup doctor didn’t want to look at her. They wanted us to wait until the following day when her normal doctor would be in.

I didn’t listen. I called up the local pet urgent care to see if they would see her and I was told to immediately bring her to the emergency room. They were furious that the vet turned us away, as was the emergency room staff when telling them what brought us in. Mau was immediately hospitalized. Less than 48 hours later, I was told to come in and say my goodbyes because they didn’t think she’d make it through the night. With the tests and ultrasound that the emergency room did, we found out that Mau’s stomach and liver lining were super thick, and that her liver was failing. She had already stopped breathing once in the night and you could tell that she was in pain. I made the tough decision to put her down.

Mau was always like a daughter to me. I would have paid anything to keep her alive and the vet bills can verify that. I would have given up my own life to save hers if I could have. However, the vet would have needed additional tests to figure out what exactly was wrong. They were sure giving her anesthesia would have killed her and you could tell she was already in a ton of pain. The vet also couldn’t guarantee that what she had was curable. They were confident that she had cancer, but couldn’t run the tests to find out. Additionally, I couldn’t afford the autopsy after death. I did what I could to save her, and when I couldn’t, I did what I could to ensure she didn’t suffer.

I said my goodbyes to Mau. I told her that I loved her and that I would be okay without her. She always took care of me so well and it was my turn to put her first. She grabbed me with one arm and pulled on me. I got close to her and she headbutt my forehead like she had done plenty of times before to show her love. She looked at me with giant eyes and let out a long meow. It wasn’t a cry of pain like the rest of her meows had been while there. Luckily, I do speak cat so I know she said “I love you, momma. I’ll be okay and I know you will be too. Thank you for giving me a good life.”

I cried hard. I am so very happy you are no longer in pain, but…I miss you so much Mau. Even two months later, I still cry and grieve over you. Even writing this, and thinking of our last moments together, I still cry. I know that I will be okay, but there is a giant, fat cat-sized hole in my heart.

My plan is to use this blog to keep you up-to-date with everything that’s been happening with life. This way, you can know that I am okay even after you are gone.

I’ll talk to you again soon with more update.

Love,

Momma